Image by Sasha  Freemind

THE ART OF BEING EMOTIONALLY INDEPENDENT

Cristina Proca

Do you ever feel like you’re too emotionally dependent on others? Do you ever feel weak or incapable of surviving the day without someone else’s opinion or, simply, presence?


While it’s great to have a network of people who love and support you, it is fundamental to base your well-being on yourself only. 


Emotional dependence is a feeling we all experienced at some point in our lives. It is a state of mind which conducts us to numerous question marks, confusion, fragility; a condition which permits others to unconsciously manipulate our emotions.  


Happiness and inner peace originate from an independent state of mind. And in order to fully have the control upon what happens around you or, more precisely, in your head, you should take a look at the following 3 tips, based on a very personal point of view.  


  1. Leave the past behind 

Do not let the shadows of your past influence your present. Stop fighting against past mistakes and past regrets. Stop thinking about people who walked away from you. Stop remembering negative circumstances you had to face. Contemplate the “now and here”. Each event of your life had a preplanned reason, in most cases. Well, choose not to investigate this reason. It will preserve you from spending time, energy and emotions on something you had no power or right to control from the very beginning. 

You did the best you could. Appreciate the lessons you learnt, let go of the rest. It will bring you light, strength and a great sense of domination over your emotions. 


  1. Don’t get too attached to people

Human relationships are vital. Nevertheless, learn to rely on yourself before relying on the ones next to you. We face life in its numerous nuances. And we need others’ validation. We have bad days and bad times and we need a good word from the ones who care about us. We have insecurities and we are in search of approval and acceptance. There’s nothing wrong with letting other people enter our world. What’s wrong is knowing no limits in doing so. In order to achieve an independent emotional sphere, you must know how to be alone. 

Heal in silence. Enjoy solitude. Get in touch with your emotions. Command them. 


  1. Take full responsibility

“The price of greatness is responsibility”

In order to become emotionally self-reliant, you need to start believing in your own super powers. Use your own head. Have solid opinions. Be courageous. Put the accomplishments you want to achieve in your own hands. Take responsibility for the right and the wrong happening to you. Keep a positive attitude during hard times. Speak out firmly. Motivate your actions. 

In other words: create your own destiny and design the emotions you want to feel before allowing them design you.